Fear Comes Within Us
What I have learned from meditation
--
I started to meditate regularly after reading Jay Shetty's "Think Like A Monk."
Meditation is a challenge for me.
My first meditation experience dates back to more than twenty years ago, in the Buddhist camp organised by the school's Chinese Association.
The monk who hosted the session ordered us to keep our eyes shut and breathe. He told us to keep our minds on our breaths and not think about other issues.
I tried for a few minutes, but suddenly, an intense feeling came from my stomach, reaching my throat, and I felt like I wanted to scream out loud.
Soon, I realised that was "fear", but I had no idea why I would feel fear at the moment.
I opened my eyes and breathed heavily. I looked around and realised everyone else was doing just fine. I even saw a few of them smile.
Is there something wrong with me? — I wondered
The experience scared me, and I have never tried to meditate since that day. Until recently, I decided to give it another try, with a bit of change.
Instead of meditating in total silence and solitary, I downloaded an app and meditated with guidance.
With the app's help, I could meditate without feeling fear, and I can see the benefits of meditation — better sleep, better mood and calmer.
I am still a rookie in meditation, and I need to practice more, but I have learned a few lessons learning meditation:
Fear Comes Within Us
Fear didn't come from external threats. External threats stimulate our emotions, which produce fear.
"Isn't 'fear' an emotion?" Perhaps, but I see it as a response to threats. We become scared when the threats seem to overpower us. With "fear" inside us, we exaggerate what we see.
Idleness Is Necessary
I learned that I am a Red from Thomas Erikson's book, "Surrounded By Idiots." I am always "on the move", so sitting with my eyes closed and doing nothing is torturing me.
